Moonbound 6.2 Eridan: Deal with Gamzee.

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You don’t even give yourself the chance to classify what it is that is charging at you before your rifle is out of your strife specibus and in your hands. You take aim through the crosshairs; it’s an easy target, as the beast is neither zigging nor zagging. But something disrupts your shot.
“Eridan, no!” exclaims Fef, grabbing your rifle and messing up your aim. “It’s Gamzee!”
“Fef, what the—AUUUUGH!” Suddenly, you’ve got a searing pain in your shoulder, your sides are being crushed, and there’s purple wisps floating before your eyes. You turn your head to discover that “Gamzee” is latched onto you, and hard. He draws back from your shoulder and aims the next chomp right at your throat, hooves still digging into your seahorse flanks.
But not before Fef dances in with her trident. She lunges forward in the nick of time, carving three deep scores into Gam’s face. Enraged, he unclasps one of his hooves and turns toward Fef, letting out a fearsome bellow. You clutch your arm, trying to keep the excruciating salt water out of the wound, but it is in vain. Meanwhile, Gam is darting for Fef, who is anything but unprepared. She swings her weapon like a bat, landing an audible blow upon his head. Dazed, his eyes roll and his body goes slack. He seems to have become unconscious, floating gracefully downward. You aim with your rifle again, fixing to finish him off.
Fef disrupts your shot again. You nearly lash out. “No! He’s not our anemone! Look, he’s harmless!”
“Harmless? He just tried to chew my fuckin’ arm off! Just let me fuckin’ kill him!”
“No! There will be no krilling tonight!” She swam over to Gam and wrapped an arm around under his armpits, lifting him up. You curse under your breath; her proximity to him makes it dangerous to go for him now. “He’s just scared, I know it. He’s confused, like you were!” she continues. In saying this, she reminds both of you that this is not the Gamzee that you knew, not physically, at least. You swim a ways ahead of the two and stare at him. He’s got this ridiculous little white beard thing, and his horns stretch out from his head farther than usual. His hands have turned into hooves and his arms and lower body are covered in white hair. Like your own lower half, his is a large fin rather than a pair of legs.
“Fuck,” you say. “What is goin’ on?”
“I don’t know,” says Fef, lowering Gam into a recuperacoon. “But if you’re not the only one turning into your lusus, or whatever is happening, then maybe someone knows what’s going on! Maybe we could get kelp!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like a thing that’s going to happen. Like I want some landdweller’s help anyway! We can take care of ourselves.”
“Oh, will you clean the algae out of your pan? What is so bad about the landdwellers? They probably need the help as much as we do! It can’t just be affecting you two! I’m shore of it!”
“Fine, fine, let’s ask the landdwellers for help, because I’m shore they’ll be just killing each other for a chance to get to kiss our boots! And by kiss our boots, I mean fry up some seadwellers for their afternoon snack! Face it, Fef, nobody wants to help a seadweller.”
Fef opened her mouth as if to protest, but then closed it and shook her head, dismayed. “Just because you can’t make any fronds above sea level doesn’t mean I can’t. There must be someone who is willing to kelp!”
You feel a disturbance in the water. Gam is stirring. There is a bubbling sound and a groan as he slowly lifts himself from the recuperacoon and brings a hoof to his head, where Fef clocked him. You and Fef both snap your attention to him, weapons raised and ready. But as he opens his heavy eyes, he doesn’t even flinch.
“Whoa. What the motherfuck is all the harshness for? Can’t a bro get his snooze on without breakin’ any laws?” Fef lowers her trident. “Man, my pan feels like it’s gone and had a party for a bunch of motherfuckin’ clawbeasts.” Then he adopts a puzzled expression, removing his hoof from his head and staring at it. He doesn’t even say anything for a few seconds. It’s like he’s just come across a curiosity, a novelty. “Well, motherfuck me. We have got some goddamn motherfuckin’ miracles happenin’ right here.” He looks up at you and Fef. You’ve still got your rifle ready. “So what can I do for you fishy motherfuckers?”

> Vriska: Succumb to unfathomable bloodlust.

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Homestuck==>Andrew Hussie